Approaching a new year is always a time for reflection and plans for changes we hope to make. With that in mind I’ve developed a list of ten things I think you should consider that may make negotiating the new year a lot more pleasant.

Decide to believe that you have done some things right.
Accept the fact that despite your current circumstances you have done something right just by virtue of the fact that you have made it to this point and then work to find out what it is. Too often we focus on where we should be or what we should have done to the point that we forget about some of the things that we have done right or even highlight them for ourselves.

Knowing some of the things you have done right helps you understand your strong points and might surprise you because they may not be the things you previously thought were your significant personal features. So take a moment and write down some of the things you’ve done right and what they say about you.

Be curious

So very often we look around us and decide to do what everyone else is doing without question because surely they know something we don’t when actually they have simply done the same thing. That being said, lift a few rocks, find out which way a road goes that you have not taken. Say what you want about this age of computers, but it has done one thing people over the ages could not imagine: Information now comes to YOU!  Ask questions and then proceed to answer them for yourself. You will be surprised the ideas that will come to you.

Ask yourself what is your biggest fear and why
Now I know this is going to sound strange, but while marathon watching the series “:Breaking Bad” and the high school chemistry teacher, Walter White, who receives a diagnosis of cancer and then sets out to develop a high powered meth empire, I listened with great interest when he says:

“I have spent my whole life frightened, scared of what might happen, worried about what could happen, or might not happen… finding myself awake at 3 o’clock in the morning thinking about all those things… But you know what, since my diagnosis I sleep just fine. What I came to realize is that fear is the worst of it. Get out in the real world and kick it as hard as you can in the teeth”

I’m not saying you need to go out and do illegal stuff but think about how different Walter’s life might have been had he applied the same “I can think my way out of anything”  approach that made him a kingpin to his life before the cancer. Being courageous is not the absence of fear, but going forward in spite of it, after taking steps to reduce risk. Nothing in life is 100%   Start small if you have to in testing your fears and then work your way up to the big things in front of you knowing that when forced you will think your way out of things. We all have that capacity, we are just many times blocked by fear.

Break your own rules

Every heard the expression “In order to make an omelet you need to break a few eggs”?  A New Year offers an opportunity to question assumptions, or rules you have laid out for yourself. That means being able to ask yourself exactly whose rule is it and decide to be a little less predictable. We are all subject to self limiting thoughts sort of like the man who has been in prison for several years who when released recreates a room similar to his cell, and maintains his confinement. Begin to imagine yourself in a box where it is hard to breathe and see yourself everyday punching a hole somewhere to breathe in a different type of air. Rather than thinking outside the box, decide to let different air into the box just to experience how liberating that can be.

Another approach is to make a list of people who you feel would think less of you if you decided to break the rules you used to follow. I think you might be surprised that the list will not be as long as you might think. Next begin to ask yourself what could be the worst possible outcome for each person on that list and can you live with it. Making this conscious decision allows mental rehearsal and prepares you for the events about to unfold.

Resolve to tell someone when they have done a good job

We have every kind of measure to tell others when they have screwed up and a good number of us are more than willing to use them. But, when was the last time you as an employer, a customer, a friend, or just a casual person let someone know when they have done something well. Studies have shown time and time again that while employees enjoy a raise they overwhelmingly appreciate being recognized. And even outside the workplace, everyone enjoys an “atta boy” and strange as it might seem to some, it encourages the person to want to excel far more than constant correction and criticism.

To hear the full 10 items on the list, please visit the short podcast that will walk you through these and other important points.

But, before you go…