We continually go to meetings and use the opportunity to network or meet new people and maybe something will come from the encounter, but many times the business card goes into an ever growing pile as the two of you play “Who’s going to make the first call?”. What many of us fail to realize is that connections are the building blocks that develop a strong professional network and more importantly relationships.
Malcolm Gladwell in the book ‘The Tipping Point’ describes ‘Connectors’ as people who know lots of people, and when an idea comes up, can point you to another person who can either help or direct you in a particular area. We all know people like this and most of us want to know them. But, this begs the question: Why Aren’t you a good connector?
What’s in it for you?
The primary benefit of referring or connecting the people you know is that it allows you to potentially help a contact solve a problem, and it casts you in a good light. YOU now become a valuable resource, and the person people want to know. Gary Vaynerchuk, or Gary V as he is known across the internet, is a social media entrepreneur success story and part of his success was built on his “Jab, jab, jab, hook” concept, meaning provide three services to someone you know, the jabs, and then ask them to help you on a project, the hook. Companies are always asking people to “like” them on Facebook or other social media sources but never think about providing content or a service that is so helpful to their target audience that they would want to “like” them. Based on the law of reciprocation humans are programmed to return a favor when it has been offered without conditions. If two people you connect begin to collaborate and each benefits, both parties now hold YOU in high esteem. This now plays into that pile of business cards you’ve been storing. You make the call and start inviting people from all kinds of areas to Lunch or small gatherings. This gives you a chance to really connect with them and understand what they have as their focus. Then, by making introductions, you can expect to receive more introductions and in a lot of cases more business. Or, to rework a well known phrase: It’s not who you know, but who knows YOU.
Where to begin
I’ve included a few links to sites that will help you find groups covering a wide range of areas to begin adding to your current list of contacts. This first link is general networking sites, and this second link is specifically professional. I particularly like LinkedIn and Meetup because they can put you in touch with people locally for face to face meetings as well as contacts further away that you can chat with via Skype. Use these lists as a starting point and once you get good at it you will probably develop you own.
Now before you run out and start making introductions like mad, a little preparation is in order. The most important part of that preparation is being willing to do a little active listening. By that I mean understanding to some degree not only the objectives of your contacts but also their emotional makeup. If two people you know have interests in the same area but maybe from different angles, it might prove helpful for both to see how their interests compliment each other. Or, if the skills of one from a very different area might serve a purpose in another’s move to the next level, introducing someone who can provide that service or direction is help beyond measure. But critical assessment is required to be aware of the personality types of each person. Pairing two hard chargers who don’t take criticism well might not be the best move. It does your reputation little good if one person of the pair has good information but is difficult to deal with. You know how each person has dealt with you in the past and what you liked about the experience. Start by using that as your barometer.
The lead-up to the introduction is very important. Sort of like arranging a blind date: You want each party to feel positive about the potential introduction. Begin by simply pointing out the benefits for each, without exaggeration, or over promising. Share a little information about the other person, like their website, LinkedIn profile, or examples of work they have done. Using this approach, both sides are made to feel comfortable about a possible meeting, or coming in contact at a social gathering.
One major consideration is to not put pressure on either party. The introduction is a benefit not a trial by fire. Once the suggestion is made and the points outlined, if either party is not open to a meeting… move on. You’ve collected points just by offering and there will always be someone else in your circle who may later appreciate what you attempted to offer.
Debriefing (I mean follow-up)
Once a connection has been made and the parties have had a chance to meet, follow-up in about two weeks to a month with maybe a quick call or short email just to find out how things went. This gives you a chance to offer reassurance or additional ideas as to how “the other” might be effectively integrated into any current or future plans. And, it also provides valuable information on how well you gauged the potential benefits of the connection.
Ready, set, go!
Many of us lead stress filled lives, so I’m not asking you to make being a connector a second full time job, but to see it as more of a release valve that offers benefits. Getting out meeting someone for Lunch or a gathering offers a chance for you to step back, if only for a short period, from all the stuff going on around you. If you are self employed or work from home, isolation always tops the list of things mentioned. Planning one outing every two weeks or once per month where you just make contact with someone to discuss something other than that project that has you pulling your hair out is a good way to keep in contact with the world outside of your well worn path; in addition to offering a window into what others are doing. And, it has a double purpose in that it can help to advance your career or business because it serves to raise your profile while adding to your information storehouse of things that may be of interest to others you know.
Be sure to listen to the podcast archive “More Episodes” 012 that will walk you through points given above. Oh yes, next week on the podcast you will get a chance to hear from one of my new contacts so be certain to listen in.